An Ode to Larkin…and Slugs

An Ode to Larkin…and Slugs

When I wake up in the morning,

I often find that slugs have slithered on my shoes overnight.

I always leave them in the porch at the end of the day

To the slugs’ constant delight.

But they serve a simple purpose;

They set me up for the day ahead,

Where other slimy fuckers

Chose to slither on life instead.

They’re a lot like work, the slugs –

Fat and slow and ugly.

And they take the time each day

To make me really fucking angry.

I should respect them really;

They spend their life doing what they do best.

Once a week I enjoy my life

And work the fucking rest.


On a Wretched Thursday Morning

On a wretched Thursday morning, when the window pains of my classroom are dotted with drops of rain and the weekend seems to be crawling away from me by the second, it doesn’t feel like there is much hope. Life, with all of its complicated tentacles, seems hell-bent on wrapping me up and dragging me down in to the depths of despair. But hark! I hear the comforting sound of a 16-bit midi soundtrack echoing in the distance. The clouds seem to part for a batch of brightly coloured pixels. Suddenly, I have a role to play – it is that of a wizard, a warrior and a paladin. I can feel the tangled octopus we call life release for a moment. Something beautiful is coming. It is made of simpler things and comes from a simpler time. My saviour has arrived! Knights of Pen and Paper 2 has just hit the App Store – pen and paper has never looked so good.

Ah, yes, I see you know your pixels well.

A Day To Remember

About two months ago, we heard about a game called Darkest Dungeon. This unforgiving turn-based dungeon crawler took over our lives. We bonded with the characters we collected, sat on the edge of our seats during nail-biting boss battles and felt the sting of defeat when one of our characters, Jack Lean, succumbed to the game’s perma-death system. It was genuinely one of the most devastating moments we have experienced in our 28 years of gaming. So, we wrote a poem, had a moments silence and gave our condolences to the team he left behind. This is our tribute to a great man, Jack Lean – we will always remember you on this day.

Darkest Dungeon review will be here soon!